Time to Heal
by frannywaggle
Summary: Sara's last words to Grissom before she left her life and her love behind.


As the bright lights of the strip reflected in the glass window, Sara just sat in the back of the cab deep in thought. She had just left her job, her friends, and her life behind. But more important than any of that, she had left the one person whom she cared more about than anyone else in the world behind. She thought about how she had left things with him; their last kiss was her way of saying goodbye. Had he known that? Had he found the note that she had left him yet? He would never know how much it hurt to write those words, but it was the only solution.

_"Gil, _  
_You know I love you. I feel I've loved you forever. _  
_Lately I haven't been feeling very well, truth be told I'm tired. Out in the desert, under the car that night, I realised something and I haven't been able to shake it. Since my father died, I've spent almost my entire life with ghosts. We've been like close friends and out there in the desert it occurred to me that it was time for me to bury them. I can't do that here._  
_I'm so sorry, no matter how hard I try to fight it off I'm left with the feeling that I have to go. I have no idea where I'm going, but I know I have to do this. If I don't I'm afraid I'll self-destruct and worse you'll be there to see it happen. _  
_Be safe! Know that I tried very hard to stay. Know that you are my one and only. I will miss you with every beat of my heart. Our life together was the only home I ever really had. I wouldn't trade it for anything. _  
_I love you. I always will._  
_Goodbye."_

She tried to block out the hurt she knew he would be feeling. She tried to ignore the pang of guilt in her heart, as she pictured him standing there reading her note. She tried to ignore the image of him and the look in his eyes as he realised she had gone. She shook her head trying to remove the image from her mind and wished there had been another way; but she needed to get away from everyone to deal with her demons. She knew leaving Vegas was her only option.

"Want a hand with your baggage?" The cab driver shouted, awakening her from her thoughts. "If only it were that simple!" She thought in return. She exited the cab and collected her battered bag from the impatient driver. She paid him and tipped kindly; she wanted to make her last moments in Vegas happy for someone.

Walking towards the entrance she had no idea where she was going; she had planned on getting a seat on the next available flight, not really caring where it was heading. She glanced over her shoulder and took one last look at her "home", just as she reached the doors her cell began to chirrup. She reached into the pocket of her jeans and withdrew it, mixed emotions flying through her mind. She flipped it open and read the caller ID, "Grissom". She took a long breath and answered the call.

"Hello?" She answered, trying to keep her voice as monotone as possible. But the moment the word escaped her throat, her voice broke and she knew she had failed.

"Sara..." Grissom's voice sounded weak and full of hurt. It pained her right in her heart to hear it, but she spoke regardless.

"Look Grissom, I'm sorry but I just need to leave here and get on with my life. My demons are holding me back and I feel like I'm hurting everyone. You won't have to worry about me and my temper anymore." As she said the last sentence she could feel the familiar sting in her eyes, as the pricked full of tears. "I'm sorry for everything. For all of the hurt and pain I've caused you. I just want you to know that I truly love you and always will." She finally relented to her emotions; she couldn't hold back any longer the hot stream of tears began flowing freely down her cheeks.

"Sara, I love you too. I always have, even if I haven't said it, I've always felt it. I don't want you to leave, but I understand you need to deal with a lot of things. But couldn't we find a way together? I know I haven't always been very good at talking, but I'm an excellent listener. I'll listen and comfort you as long as you need. Just ... please ... don't leave." He emphasised the last phrase to add extra impact. She could hear the desperation in his voice and it made her feel even more exasperated at herself for putting him through this. Hearing him like this, made her want to forget about leaving and try harder to stay, but deep in herself she knew that wasn't going to be possible, at least for a while.

"Gil..." She never called him that, but it felt right to say that in the moment. "I have to leave; I can't fight this thing with memories around me. I need to go somewhere fresh to just sort everything out in my head. I hope that someday I will come home. It's not you, it's me. And I know how cliché that sounds, but it's true. I'll keep in contact, but I have to go. Love you; always remember that." And with that she hung up, without giving him the chance to respond. She knew this was it and that it would be a while before she returned.

**...**

**Just a little something that popped into my head after watching Sara's departure a while ago.**

**R & R x**


End file.
